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The Journals of Tobo Lakhanai
The Journals of Tobo Lakhenai are a Eonwiki primary source document. Do not take the information within for granted. Eon: The Jade Warriors (Spring 2008), Season Finale Well my boss, Vishnu, sends me with these crazy guys who brought him this HUGE sword, and on our way back apparently the rest of the group gets jumped on their ship by some assassins. Anyway, after hearing the story (which was pretty boring when told by that new gnome... eww gnomes...) we head off to the temple island to head off some dragons, allegedly. When we got there we were sent on a totally rad mission to dive into the invading army’s cover of darkness and mist to take out a dragon and do as much damage as possible to the fleet. Needless to say, I was totally the right guy for the job.After the mindflayer Ashra lent me his wand, I threw it into the dragon’s mouth where it was destroyed, discharging its energy in a super dramatic fashion, dispatching the dragon which crashed into a nearby battleship. On the way back we get drive-byed by another guy on a dragon... some others recognized the rider but I’d never seen him before. We also ran into Baudin Dommilan, who apparently used to be these guys’ boss.... he wanted us to retrieve a stone from Ravinia, and tried to steal Ethan’s piece of some amulet, then he poofed! Upon returning to the main island, we encountered a necromental, which I dispatched when the druid wrestler, Jose, transformed into an eagle and flew me by while I shot at it with a wand of positive energy. Sooo cool!! After killing some zombies (one of which turned into a lich and flew away... holy shit!) the party reached the second circle marketplace... Cridey, a pretentious head librarian, is one we were told by this cool soldier guy in the barricaded second circle marketplace to rescue from the library. We were directed to the escape tunnel, which we went down. It was totally scary and dark and stuff.We get to a room with some books, and then another. Then of course, we find the beholder that was rumored to be in the library. Jose gets turned to stone while tackling it, delaying it long enough for us to defeat it. Making it through the rest of the passage, we find the head Librarian and help him cast his teleportation spell to the palace to get a vital book to the king. Damn, I wish I could have gone with him.... During Eon: Infinite Horizons (Summer 2008) As we sail away from the burning, besieged city, heading south, I start to collect the recent events into a new epic that will be totally radical when finished.I’ll call it La Batalle Malvenia, an epic in Elven. In the mean time we’ve been chilling in Corinth on the top floor of a Dwarven inn called Rock Rock Rock, some joke lost in translation I guess. Now that Fauntleroy and this guy I’ve never met but everyone else knows, Ulfgar, are back in town, we’ve become one happy family again! Eon: Unsolved Mysteries (Fall 2008) Premiere Now the mayor of Corinth wants to meet with us about sending foreign nationals to the aid of Malvont, so as to keep up the appearance of Corinth’s neutrality while still lending Malvont the aid that it desperately needs. When we get to the fountain outside Corinth City Hall, we are attacked! Fireballs, magic missiles, and toxic gases start flying everywhere, and I nearly get taken our but the beautiful Sil'meelen carries me to safety. God, I’m really hungry though. After hearing from some woman in a cloak, apparently named Aura Larilian, who wanted us to find someone named Simora, 40 mi north of Port Townsend, so we decide to head off to that northern port after heading east to Xentaroth’s Tower to get supplies for the trip across the sea. We skirt the coast, giving a broad berth to the port of Yarmouth which some of us had been to before, and it’s apparently no longer the awesome party town it once was. Something about a neogi slaver or something buying the whole town and enslaving the populous. Just past Yarmouth, we encountered a HUGE storm. I’ve never been in such a big storm before, so I suggested we head straight for it! Ulfgar tied me to the bow, and I was like SPLOOSH and the wind was like WOOSH and it was AWESOME! The ship started to keel over a bit, but a few minutes later we hit the eye of the storm and we were back upright. Making it out, they untied me and we were back on track eastward. Xentaroth’s Tower, a cliffside town on the northeast extreme of the southern continent, is our next destination. As we pull into the river mouth, we decide to keep to the kinda plausible story that we were a trading company, hit by the recent storm and forced to toss our cargo of grain overbaord. Fortunately, the goblin captain that came to inspect our ship believed the whole thing – with a little helpful distraction by a flirtatious Sinmeelen. Episode 2 Upon docking at Xentaroth’s Tower, we meet a man in brilliant white armor, named Gid, who asks us about Yarmouth for his boss, Andrey Hilltopple. Sinmeelen and Shiolay head off after him while I go with Yolanda and Ulfgar to go haggle for supplies. Getting back, we load up on a cargo of gunpowder and barley, and sail to Barrensburg, but find it aflame. Diverting eastward, we put in at Port Brogan, where we sell off our cargoes and hear about a reward for the rescue of the mayor’s daughter, Arten Umgart, captured by ogres. Naturally, she is supposed to be a chaste maiden, but has a reputation for being rather loose. The mayor, Vait Umgart, may try to put one over whoever tries to claim the reward. We’re told the ogres may be part of a gang up in the highlands around the city. We also meet Jaxil, a piss drunk, big, and brawny half-orc lumberjack type, who fits right in with Yolanda and Ulfgar. After that we head out to find the ogres, who after a bit of persuading by my musical charms tell us that they hold the hot chick because Vait Umgart reneged on a deal with them. He traded them the rights to obtain the Sword of Saleem (the southern equivalent of Obad Hai) in exchange for the Nautilus, a ruined haunted temple just outside Port Brogan. The mayor’s plan backfired when the sword, rumored to be in the Nautilus, was not found to compensate the ogres.So we agreed to the ogre chief Ovak’s idea to go talk to the mayor and see what we could do and return to the ogres to in two days.We decided to go look for ourselves at this Nautilus, and after penetrating the riddles, traps, and defenses, and we finally obtain the sword and make it back to the Jade Kraken II. We also leave the Nautilus with a puzzle – the chest at the bottom of the pool says “Sinful Reordering.” With a day to kill before our rendezvous with the ogres, I headed out to the market to do some performing. I settled on the bawdy ones, performing The Man from Goneril and The Sailor and the Barmaid, and took in a good profit, though perhaps sullied my reputation with the elder population of Port Brogan... The rest of the crew headed into town to provision the company, reequip, and celebrate Yolanda’s birthday at the Stumbling Duck. We hit up the bar, and have a round of drinks for the whole place.At a table we see Kruglor, a horribly dirty bearded dwarf with human femur; Lucy, the pirate we sold the black powder to, and his brother Lando, who starts describing his company. Apparently Barron Ganth is building an army again, and drafting soldiers in Goneril is difficult as usual. Yolanda also starts charming a bunch of goblins, and the leader, Ibo, pickpockets her of about 50gp but jumps out a window after taking a swig of Ulfgar’s hallucinogenic drink... Suddenly, Lucy starts making chocking sounds, but Shiolay determines that he’s actually been poisoned. His glass was coated with a potent toxin! The barkeep determines that this type of poison, Anicen, leaves him about an hour to live, unless we reach an apothecary, the nearest being at the top of the volcanic Mount Juniper. Determined to save such an upright guy (and good customer) we head out and start to climb up the mountain, sending Richard and Gid around the long way on the well-traveled road. When we reach the summit, we find the only inhabitants to be treants, one of which is the apothecary in question. After a bit of a snafu with the reputation of Jaxil among the trees, he hands us a bush with which we cure Lucy.When he comes to, he thanks us for saving his life, and offers to take us to his ship and catch up with Sinmeelen, his (former?) lover. Episode 3 In the calm after the hectic rush, Jaxil also discovers that his relic is from Ravinia, the one given to him by someone dying of the Red Plague, to cure his sister he would have to do something with the relic at the Ruins of Eldergrin, which we uncover as the solution to the riddle “sinful reordering;” an anagram being “Ruins of Eldergrin.” Lucy tells us a good bit about the island, himself, and the odd curse with the north side of the island—there have been homesteads, even an attempt to build another port. But everyone has eventually disappeared. He concludes our meeting with gifts: a set of hearing earrings for Sinmeielen. We head out, checking in with the Mayor, Vait Umgar, and hit the trail to the Ogres. Ovak accepts the sword in exchange for the girl, and suggests that if ever we want more employment, he’s looking for an ogre-sized gold ring with a purple diamond in it. However, he feels robbed, having given up the Nautilus for something he already had, so he determines to retake the Nautilus from the city by force. The mayor’s daughter proves problematic, as when Shiolay tries to restore her virginity she notices the attempt and thinks the event a groping.... So Ethan devises a clever plan. We beat up Shiolay so that when he makes a second attempt at the snatch, we can knock him out in retaliation. The plan works flawlessly; Sinmeielen and Jaxil sock the crap out of him, and then Ethan KOs him when Arten catches him. Satisfied that her assailant had been dealt with, we return her to the mayor. As part of the reward, a manor house and estate on the western side of the island was awarded in my name, so I guess now I’m Sir Tobo of Brogan in addition to being Tobo of Malvont. Isn’t that awesome? It has six acres of farmland and three serfs too (though they only speak undercommon)!! We check it out and set up Sinmeielen’s follower as the manager to handle the property while we’re gone and recruit and train new members of the Holy Returners. We rest up in the new manor and head out to explore the ruined stone circle, but as Jaxil chops his way through the forest, he lands his axe in a treant that nearly kills Jaxil three times, and as it finally falls it crushes Ulfgar who very nearly dies. To get him out Ethan summons a huge zombie and I grease myself up and squeeze under, tying a rope to him and we manage to pull him out. Episode 4 Retreating in the wee hours of the morning to the Jade Kraken II and recuperate. I learned that Gid is a chick, which was kinda hard to tell in the armor to be honest. Making a quick expedition to grab Sinmeielen from the forest, I talk to this treant that was pretty angry and tells us to make amends by planting trees, which we do when we return to the manor and explain the instructions to the serfs. Then my boss, Janadan Vishnu, calls Ethan on this fancy stone thingie, and after moaning and complaining a bit about some ghost cannons coming from the Nyasas to the south, asks for the Eye of Moradin to keep the ghosts out of his Mech. We are tempted by the offer but in the end our fascination with the stone circle in the north of the island takes us there the next morning. Jaxil tries touching his axe to the four stones, which read in Dwarven (and common graffiti) Honor, Loyalty, Fate and Destiny. Ultimately we discover a secret door, set in the bedrock under 2 feet of earth at the foot of the Fate stone.Getting through, the previously hermetically sealed chamber seems innocuous enough, until the bones and webs on the floor come to life as a rather underweight green dragon!! It spews acid EVERYWHERE but then we put on the beatdown and clubbed/slashed/poked (like it to death while I recount the Battle of Malvont for inspiration. We explore the doors leading off of the central room; through “loyalty” we encounter a room of the most AMAZING historical Dwarf clan heraldry. But the rest of us weren’t as interested so we opened another door – revealing a caved-in passage and the skull of a REALLY big dragon buried in it. We open a third door and encounter a pair of sarcophagi – one containing a dwarf says Moradin made a bet with Nerull, and the other containing a halfling says Olidimarra made a bet with Nerull.In any case, they are defended by a water monster or elemental or something but Shiolay purges it. Needless to say we needed a rest, so we make camp outside for the night. In the middle of the night some HUGE thing starts moving on the mountainside, but of course I couldn’t really see it.It didn’t come that close, so I went back to bed. The next morning we head back down the stairs to investigate the last door. Richard tells us that there’s something through there, but when we open it there’s just a room with a series of four pedestals and a massive central pillar thing, clearly mechanical. A secret door reveals a small altar and a box, in which Ulfgar finds a series of small balls – 1 gold, 2 silver, 4 bronze. They seem to match the size of grooves in the four pedestals. Sinmeielen continues along a hallway to scout ahead. We start figuring the puzzle of the marbles and the pedestals, and test out the puzzle. We figure that there are concentric cylinders with gaps, and the pedestals rotate the cylinders when the marbles are placed in their grooves. After a good thinking and trial-and-error test we get to the center! There contained within is the Eye of Moradin that Vishnu was looking for, and four boxes. Sinmeielen can’t keep her hands to herself, and rushes to open the boxes and carries the stuff back out to us. I hand the Eye to Andrey for safekeeping, since I sure couldn’t use it... We find: tablets in archaic dwarven of spells – flesh to stone, stone to flesh, landslide, and meteor shower; a rod of scouring – scours (10d10) to organic matter on pressing the button (including the caster); red dragonscale boots of Dragon Step – give +5 land speed, +1 on all rolls against dragons; a bronze Tortoise Shield - +2 ac v. melee (+3 vs. ranged), a spyglass, another mask, and a pair of gauntlets. Down the passage we discover the source of some of the passages underground here – a delver and another man.We head back to the shield room, and head through the double doors into a large hall. Ulfgar finds a secret lever, which he suggests I pull. So I do, and zombies start coming out of the woodwork, I mean stonework. We destroy them with Andrey’s characteristic holy A-BOMB. We finally get the gumption to go investigate the Delver, and he apparently is directing peons for some Nerull-related activity, burrowing into temples to get some items to sell to “the Mayor,” one that Ethan recognizes (Tyro Avampour?). There’s supposed to be a meeting of some kind for the organization working here... The delver starts moving through the entrance tunnel, so Shiolay and I get separated from the rest of the party. Episode 5 Shiolay and I head back to the surface to avoid the rumbling (delver) and decide to check out another really cool-looking cave opening, and find a pair of guards. We fake them out, totally fooling them into thinking we’re new recruits, and continue on to a very, very large cavern, with a LOT of dudes milling about, and some cages and food and cookware and beds and lots of stuff. There’s supposed to be a meeting of some kind there about some plans, but everyone’s late (including us, so we blend right in!). Shiolay tries to distract a guy who might have recognized me by playing my banjo, badly I must say...Although taking another route, the main party group also reaches this meeting room, apparently having already found out about the meeting. The reunion is interrupted when a guy in red, Tiero Avampur, walks in with five bodyguards and claps the room to attention.He starts to praise himself, and mentions something about the “mystery of the stone steps” that he (or rather his group) was responsible for. Just as he starts to talk about the mission for tonight, Sinmeielen suddenly appears, and stabs the man in red in the back, and the clash begins. We slice, dice, fireball, zombie, bee, scorpion, power-chord, magic-missile, cleave, and charge our way through them, and Tiero surrenders. We promptly knock him out. The prisoners tell us that some guy who had offered to guide them to the fertile uplands, Tirese(?), captured them and kept them in the cavern systems. The prisoners overheard talk of digging to find something, a dragon, and breaching the underdark under this island. We free them, and give them some food. Sir Masterson, (the man whose estate I was awarded....) tells us that he knew only one person who came through, a woman of demon ancestry named Poetry, a member (rogue?) of the Laughing Rogue. We loot the “Mayor” and return some of the prisoners’ possessions, and confiscate the weapons of the mercenaries and toss the unconscious onto a greased square. As we leave, one of the mages that escaped detonated four barrels of gunpowder, killing Jaxil, most of the prisoners, and nearly killing Sinmeielen and me. Limping badly, we head back to town to lick our wounds. Episode 6 Seeking a resurrection for Jaxil, we find an ogre druid who reincarnates him as a female elf... now “Jaxil” is “Jaxis,” adding another pair of “stunners” to the party lineup. We make preparations to leave Port Brogan, provision the troupe, repair and outfit the ship, and Sinmeielen leaves us with a new crewmember, Gauve, who I hear is a little bastard. We set sail for Port Townshend and reach it without incident, though the town itself could be considered one... We slide into the pirate port, and set up an anti-theft mechanism: Sam on watch and prestidigitating the sails pink, to make the ship an “unattractive” target for theft. The meatbags (and Ethan) hit the town, by town I mean bars and by hit I mean HIT, along with their occupants, usually in the face. Not the bars, of course, since most of them don’t have faces. More like the faces of some dwarves and hill giants, one of which was a DRUNKEN MASTER. Andrey and Fab Dick decide to pay a visit to the more respectable establishments, and make promising connections with the local halflings. I spend time with the locals, telling tales for some $$. Hearing from Andrey and Richard that the reward for winning the Halfling village’s is a stone permitting safe passage through the underdark, we take an interest in the thing. The details trickle in as we talk around town, especially the halfling swamp village just outside town. Just as we think about heading over there, a three-armed green thingie comes by asking for the dude who finished off the Drunken Master. Apparently the “King of the Pirates” was getting ticked at the guy for roughing up his bars. As a reward, Ulfgar asks for a halfling racing boat, a fast, four feet and change, fan-driven, speedster. We head to the docks to collect the boat (after Ulfgar, Jaxis, and Yolanda go to visit the now imprisoned drunken master and slip him some booze), and just as we return to the ship, the “land shark” that has been preying on the local halflings shows its ugly head. With much trouble we try to deal with it, but it keeps diving back underground. After a failed attempt by Ethan to paralyze it, Ulfgar presses two of his bombs into it, blowing it and himself up. It retreats back underground. Drawn by the explosion, I run to the area, only to realize that this thing LOVES to eat people like me. Nearly shitting myself, I cast blink and the party gathers around... as it leaps from the earth next to me it gets pummeled by a volley of blows just before passing through the space I was standing in. Gauve finishes it off with a coup de grace. We take the thing to the halfling village to show it off, and also to enter the race. Starting as the dusk falls, the zany antics begin. The course is not so much a problem as the racers. It’s a death race. Of course, we don’t help the problem, laying in wait to screw things in our favor. A random Black Pudding appears just after the frontrunners pass the first turn, demoralizing the rest of the racers and covering Ethan in digestive acid. Trees falling, rockets igniting, underhanded repeating crossbow volleys, exploding methane bubbles, leaping dwarves, sound bursts, crocodiles ambushing, and a daring last minute leap over the finish line by Gauve wins the day! All that excitement put me over the edge, and I had to take a break for a bit to write it all down. I got a lot done on the Batalle Malvenia while we made tracks to Landover, or what we thought was Landover. Now it’s apparently been renamed Greaxboro, and we’ve been having some trouble getting in. Apparently there’s going to be an assassination attempt, something having to do with Furies. Oh well, I guess I’ll catch up after I get my nose out of this book. I still don’t have anything to rhyme with Category:Personal Accounts Category:Primary Source